Who’s afraid of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo running?

I’m not. I’d love it if she did.

The choices apparently are for vice president, as proposed by Danilo Suarez, and for representative of Pampanga, as proposed by God, or so people hearing voices think them to originate.

Arroyo’s Pampanga run has been fueled by her frequent visits there. The reasons cited are: one, to remain in government; two, to avoid prosecution; and three, to control government by proxy.

None of these makes sense, which is why I think this is just a red herring. The notion that she would want to remain in public office in a minor capacity flies in the face not just of history but of sanity. The notion that she can possibly abide a situation where she is not in charge, where she is not in command, where she cannot feel absolute power oozing out of her every pore is silly. It’s not just bad judgment, it’s poor eyesight. The evidence is right there before our eyes. Someone who can lie about running for office, who can instruct a Comelec commissioner in the art of counting, who can, has, and will resort to anything to keep power, is not going to settle only for ruling the cabalens.

And that is assuming she’ll win. Above all against her sister, the true-blue Macapagal, Cielo.

The Pampanga run made sense only at the time Prospero Nograles and company were trying to change the Constitution. Arroyo could then have become a representative (by cheating of course), and then prime minister by acclamation in a unified parliament. Well, Prospero’s game did not prosper, leaving his principal in the lurch.

Avoiding prosecution doesn’t make sense either. Congressmen can be prosecuted, as was Romeo Jalosjos. The rape of a major, or a country, is just as despicable, if not more so, than the rape of a minor, or a girl. It is certainly as prosecutable. Take it from the lawyers: Being a representative does not give blanket immunity.

Controlling government via the clout one has built over the years is plain nonsense. It flies in the face of history, which shows that after a new president comes to power, everyone flocks to his side, abandoning the previous one. It flies in the face of memory, which says Cory and Ramos and Erap became minor players, if they were not indeed reduced to obscurity, irrelevance, or, as with Erap, a felon, after they became ordinary citizens. And Gloria is not like Cory, Ramos, and Erap, she is like Marcos. Out of power, she will not be treated like her post-1986 predecessors, she will be treated like her pre-1986 predecessor. And “predecessor” gives too much credit: Marcos himself was elected twice before he became a usurper.

But forget history and memory, mind only sight. Lakas-Kampi is disintegrating right before our eyes as we speak, rocked as it is by defections. The Liberal Party and the Nacionalista Party have been the prime beneficiaries, as Noynoy Aquino’s lead widens, as Manny Villar’s largesse deepens, and as Arroyo’s chasm yawns. Arroyo did not last this long being a fool. That much can be said for her. She won’t find the prospect of representative under these conditions attractive.

Is she likely to run for vice president?

It’s certainly very tempting. It’s a heartbeat away from the presidency—which is why I’d want her to. At the very least just so she can give Gilbert Teodoro some sleepless nights.

Of course, outside looking in, Gibo’s chances of becoming president are as huge as Willie Revillame’s chances of turning tasteful. But inside looking out (running for president isn’t just conducive to delusion, it is an act of delusion), he figures, like everybody else, he’ll win. What now if Arroyo wins along with him? That is very likely with no small help from Smartmatic, which is the only way he can win. He wins, she wins too.

I recall saying not entirely in jest before 1998 that the best position to run for was vice president. The reason for that was not that I had the prescience to see that Erap would be impeached. It was simply that I did not think he would last his term from the lifestyle he lived. Drinking, smoking, womanizing, gambling, keeping late hours do not augur well for a long life. I should have believed in the wisdom of the longevity of the masamang damo. Either that or the womanizing made up for the other vices, exercise-wise. But as it turned out, Erap truly did not finish his term for reasons other than health—or at least physical health.

Which shoved Arroyo to power. Will history repeat itself? If you’re Gibo, would you sleep soundly thinking that at the prime of life and in the pink of health you might suddenly fall into spasms after eating or drinking? Life has been known to imitate joke—my jokes in particular.

More to the point, I’ve always argued that Noynoy’s “popularity” owes to the Edsa story. It’s the only thing that explains why he catapulted to the top even before he declared his intention to run. That means that he owes his “popularity” not just to the public adulation for his mother, expressed spectacularly last August 5, but to the public detestation for the one who persecuted her, expressed spectacularly when Arroyo came back from the US, not least over Le Cirque. Without Arroyo, the Edsa story would not be complete. She is one of the two reasons this is an Edsa masquerading as an election.

Arroyo joins the fray, even if only as vice president, she will supply a tangible image in lieu of the one that’s just as the back of the voters’ minds. She joins the fray, she will remind everyone of what these “elections” are all about, which is really a problem of getting rid of her and building anew, not unlike Marcos’ time, not unlike Erap’s time. She joins the fray, she will help to mount, if only against her and if only in the guise of the vote, an Edsa III.

Should you run?

By all means, do.